Telephone Woes

I am not Emily Post and there are a lkot fo books available on fancy dinners, writing proper thank you notes and that sort of thing. I am not talking about any of that. What ever happened to common courtesy, everyday horse sense and a little respect. I admit I am no goody two shoes, especially when confronted with a situation or person pushing my buttons. My mother taught me that if I am polite with others, they will be so with me. She did not teach me what to do when they are not - and often they are not. Just as I may not always respond in the most appropriate way at such times, due to lack of training in that area, many people do nto behave well, not due to ill will but due to lack of training - in that area, whatever it may be. Nevertheless, some things just really get to me.

My serious manners irks fall into two categories largely 1) what I percieve is disrespectful and 2) what adversely impacts my productivity (lack of respect for time and protocol). Here are some expamples of problems with telephoning.

Not Knowing How to Properly Make a Call
For example most of the phone calls I receive start off quite poorly. Typically the phone rings, I answer and the person on the other end blurts, "Are you (first name)" or "Can I speak to (first name)?"

I may respond with "May I ask who is calling?" *which I should not have to as it is ever so improper to call and not identify oneself right away). If I respond "This is she," the caller often just starts jabbering away, making no sense to me, as the person has not told me their name, their company (if there is one) or their purpose in calling. It would also be appropriate and appreciate to provide how they received my name and phone number. (I really should not have to ask such things!).

Sometimes a person will call me him and ask me for my name, again without identifying himself, who he is with, how he got my number and reason for calling.

Not Being Prepared to Speak When Calling
I am surprised at how many people just seem to pick up the phone and dial without having a clue what they are going to say when someone answers or how they are going to discuss what they called to discuss. Often they may not even pay attention after they dial, leaving the person on the other end repeating "hello, . . . hello. . hello" and finally they wake up and just start babbling. (No introduction or anything of course!). So, if you are going to call someone, pay attention and respond immediately when the person answers. Next respond appropirately.

Another telephone peeve is calling at inapproprate hours. The phone should not be ringing after 9:00pm, nor too early in the morning, unless the caller has been given express permission to do so by the callee.

Call Waiting. This one is quite annoying. The metamessage being communicated when one person puts another on hold during a conversation is "you are not important enough, any call coming in is more important! Need I say more. Putting a caller on hold is feature designed for switchboards and busy executives who can have secretarys help handle the calls and callers. If you are in your home and having a private conversation - don't. The exception is a true emergency - which is not a nail salon appointment, or the latest gossip with your friend. Emergency is like when someone is in the hospital, or something dire. As far as I am concerned, if our conversation is not important enough for you to continue it, then we don;t need to be talikng. Likewise if you are so addicted to telephones that everytime a bell rings or a cell tine sounds you go salivating like Pavlov's dog, then your drooling self needs to depart from me.